Cut the Crap #7- Jorts

I’m just throwing this out there to help out my fellow brethren. Do not wear Jorts (you see what I did there, I combined “jeans” and “shorts”). I know jeans are the perfect leg-wear for almost any climate, but when you take off the bottom half of the legs, you turn into a tool. Whether its Gucci shorts, jorts that were once jeans, or the infamous bjorts (black+jean+shorts, pronounced be-YORTS), wearing them makes you look like you belong on COPS, sporting a wolf t-shirt and a dirty trucker hat, and living in a house on wheels. There are so many other options of summer pant-wear to chose from. Basketball shorts are casual and comfy, cargos may have inhibited hand jobs since Nam but they’re better than jorts, and the pastel Bro shorts are also infinitely better, just to name a few. 


The only people that should be allowed to wear jean shorts are women (see Jessica Simpson in The Dukes of Hazard).

-Mr. Brightside