Mr. Brightside's Rebuttal to "Cut the Crap #3"

Mr. Brightside's Take on Pizza Pies:

As a pizza messenger expert, mastering my profession at Sopranos Pizzeria in New Milford, NJ, I can affirm that it is in fact proper to refer to pizza as “pies”.  After all, you get a slice of pizza and of course the slice is part of the whole pie.

When we were posed with the problem of a caller asking for “two cheese pizzas”, our call girl was puzzled. Frantic, she put in the order for 2 pies, thinking these people must just be whack. After reading the lady the total of the order, the caller said it couldn’t be right. Apparently she was looking to buy 2 slices of pizza. Besides wanting to avoid this general confusion, we use the term “pies”.

I have a better idea: since any pizza not within the tri-state area, Chicago, or occasional hole-in-the-wall joint in the North End of Boston is legit shit on a plate, from now let the term “pizza pie” denote pizza that is actually consumable and doesn’t make me want to wish I was a bitch and ordered a salad from the pizzeria. 

DISCLAIMER: DOMINOS, PAPER JOHN’S, AND PIZZA HUT DOES NOT COUNT AS GOOD PIZZA. IT’S THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL.

Cut the Crap #3 - Pizza Pies

Okay, so there's this issue that keeps coming up with me and the bros.  Some of my friends from Jersey (insert insulting Jersey joke here) think that when they order pizzas, they're supposed to call them pizza "pies."  Funny, right? I mean, how ridiculous is that?  Since when did pizzerias become freaking bakeries?  Are you gonna order a pepperoni pizza pie with a side of danishes?  Honestly, they're called pizzas.  No pies are involved in any way, shape, or form.  Still not convinced?  Go to any authentic italian restaurant and look at a menu.  You won't find the word "pie" anywhere but the Desserts section.

Cut the crap, Jersey.




- Major