Remember when you thought these movies were better than sex? Yeah, me neither. Let's do it.
10) Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire - Van Helsing Jr. basically, right? Just barely reaches the top 10, but it made the cut for being without a doubt better than Twilight. Sorry ladies, the truth hurts.
9) Phantom of the Megaplex - Basic plot: There's a sabateur on the loose just absolutely wrecking shit in the movie theatre. Kid saves the day, gets the girl. Good 'ole Mickey Rooney guest stars basically as his old, senile self. Solid movie, but nothing too special about it.
8) My Date With the President's Daughter - It's got Eric Matthews in it. Enough said, right? No, it gets better: that girl was a friggin smokeshow. Fun Fact: the smokeshow was in Boy Meets World for an episode and tried to get with Cory! Mindfuck.
7) The Paper Brigade - Remember the days when teenage boys delivered newspapers on bicycles? Yea, me neither. My closest recollection is playing Paperboy on my Sega Genesis. Anyway, this is one of the best, and earliest, of the Disney channel originals. The crazy paintball-wielding old man and shenanigans of the kids make this one of my all time favorites. Check out the whole final scene, and note the line “I just put two bucks [of gas] into this thing. Remember when that was a lot of gas? Yea, me neither.
6) Don't Look Under the Bed - This movie is down-right creepy as hell. You have this imaginary friend-turned-boogeyman who's trying to kill you. Really Walt? Thanks for all the sleepless nights, bro.
5) Smart House - Same kid from Luck of the Irish does it again. Two movies in the Top 5, what a stud. We all loved it since we all secretly wished some provocative woman/machine/house would make us shit on cue.
4) Brink - The staff just had a re-viewing recently of this movie. It's filled with sexual innuendos. Asshole on Team X-Blades while threatening Team Pup N' Suds: "It's gonna be open season on your butts!" Hilarious.
3) Johnny Tsunami - Three Things I Learned From This Movie:
- Being Hawaiian makes you a BAMF, especially if you end up in a lame state like Vermont
- You're not a good snowboarder without sick snowboarding clothes
- In the end, snowboarders get the poon, while skiers just look gay
2) Luck of the Irish - The stud Irish high school basketball player overcomes all odds against that douchebag Irish guy who's way too full of himself. Plus Irish Olympics FTW.
1) Halloweentown - This movie just flat-out killed it. Everyone and their mother watched this movie. Instant classic. Drama, horror, comedy... It had it all. The skeleton cab driver stole the show in my opinion.
Universally Agreed Worst Disney Channel Original Movie: The Color of Friendship -Please Walt, please don't try and preach to me in my Disney Originals. I was 10 and even I knew this shit was overtly trying to get me to broaden my horizons
- The Major, Mr. Brightside, and The HoundDog (Yeah we tag-teamed the fuck out of these Disney movies no homo)
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