Kier Eye For The Straight Guy

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#HE'SALLOFTHEM?!?!!?

Game 7's

You know what's better than 1 game 7? 2 game 7's. Tonight the Sabres and Flyers do battle at the Wells Fargo Center at 7:30, and then the Blackhawks try to pull off an improbable comeback from down 0-3 to steal the series from Vancouver in Rogers Arena at 10:00.

Boston College fans have an easy rooting interest in both games, as two key pieces of the Eagles' 2008 National Championship team, Nate Gerbe and Ben Smith, are in the line-up and are big contributors for the Sabres and Blackhawks respectively. 

Gerbe puts in the second goal and Smith nets the third. 

Gerbe has scored twice so far in the series against the Flyers. Smith, a rookie who has as many playoff starts as regular season starts, has one-upped his former teammate with 3 goals against the Canucks, including the game winner over Roberto Luongo,who is doing his best to give the series away, in game 6. 

I see both Eagles moving on. Shaky goaltending from the Canucks and Flyers give the 'Hawks and Sabres the upper hand despite both playing on the road. Hopefully both Eagles see the second round. 

Honestly how good was Gerbe though?

A Wager I Hope I Won't Regret...

Yesterday the crew and I were playing some routine FIFA (concentrating more on perfecting our celebrations than the actual game, of course) when I felt this surge of confidence start running through my veins.  I just felt flat-out ballsy.  And as Mr. Brightside can tell you, this is when even the best of men make some of the worst bets in life.

Now I kept in mind Brightside's recent wager over lefty, so I kept my cool and only placed a "gentlemen's bet" with our buddy Lurker.  

I bet that I would put up 14 goals on him in FIFA if he let me play as the "Classic XI" team.  

Any regular FIFA player knows that putting up 14 goals in a game in any situation is not an easy task, no matter what the matchup.  Things just have to flow for you.  You need absolute perfection.   

Normally, a gentlemen's bet isn't much to worry about.  It's just for bragging rights and such, but this case was different.  I was adamant about it, to the point of obscene cockiness.  But there's no going back now.  

Lefty's gonna be safe, but all of my dignity and respect is on the line here people.  Say a prayer.

Kier Eye For The Straight Guy

Charlie Sheen

and

Gordon Bombay

ARE BROTHERS?!?!?!!??!

#APOCALYPSE2012!!!

--SPECIAL K!!

Kick-Off Marathon Weekend Right

For those of you who don't live in Boston, it's hard to explain how huge this upcoming weekend (including Monday) is. Monday is the Boston Marathon where a few people run from East Bumfuck to West Bumfuck and us college kids start getting incoherent at the crack of dawn.

Before that, J. Cole and Wale will be performing at BC Friday night, and White Panda will be doing a mashup show Sunday evening (it sounds fancy).

Preceding all of this action is an event that will no doubt start off the weekend in the right manner. Likuid Sound (that "k" just came out of no where!) is hosting a party tomorrow night at Who's On First? over by Fenway sponsored by Red Bull Records. The theme is retro marathon so I have an excuse to break out the short-shorts and headband. Tickets are sold out so you might have to look on the event page to find someone selling a ticket. If you can't get your hands on one for this event, I hope you guys keep an eye out for Likuid Sound because they always throw down hard with some great music at great venues and hopefully you'll be able to hit up their next event. Spread the word, they're gunna be HUGE.

ps: i love Taylor Stockton, no homo

Cut the Crap #8 - MBTA Woes

There are a lot of things I love about Boston; Bodega, Newbury Street, and the college scene. These things would all be so much better if I could travel to them in a cheap and efficient manner. Too bad the MBTA blows. 


The T is wonderfully cheap, but has no schedule whatsoever, often leaving me to sit at the Reservoir stop for at least fifteen minutes. The ride from there on isn't TERRIBLE until you get to Kenmore and you lose all cell service and the T starts doing pterodactyl screeches at every turn. Thank god I stay on the Green Line for the most part so I don't have to endanger my safety on the sketchy-ass stops on the Red and Orange Lines. 


The MBTA crappyness does not end there. 


The Major, Capt. Casper, and I hit up the 86 bus from Reservoir to Harvard Square the other day. Aside from the bus being 20 minutes late, we found out that it runs on a system similar to that of the "blue light" system at BC. You can literally see the next stop from the prior stop. How lazy does the MBTA think everyone is? This isn't the South, we enjoy getting places promptly. If I can sprint from Conte Forum to the College Road bus stop after a hockey game, people can certainly afford to have stops at least 4 blocks away from each other. 


Cut the crap, MBTA.

Random 90s Athlete of the Day: Dennis Rodman

This post is for our boy lil' Naz who recently got in the ring with Captain Casper. Kid's got balls.

Is there a player that personifies random more than Dennis Rodman? Just look at this guys existence. His middle name is Keith. He was one of his father’s 27 children, split between 4 wives. He went from a scrawny 5 ft. 6 in. frosh that couldn’t make the football or basketball team to a 6 ft. 6 in. monster by his senior year.  He then flunks out of community college and gets a second chance at Southeastern Oklahoma State, probably because they had a couple Bio majors down on the block and the janitor running the point. He goes on to play 3 solid years for the Savages (yup that was their mascot, no surprise that they are now the Savage Storm, which really doesn't make sense, like is it raining indians or what?), and ends up staying in school long enough to get drafted and play in the NBA. He then winds up on two of the best teams of the decade, the two time NBA champion Pistons in the early 90’s and Jordan’s Bulls later on, and wins 5 rings. He wore the numbers 91, 70, and 73, probably the most remarkable achievement of his career. He dyed his hair every one of Crayola’s 133 colors. He got with Carmen Electra and Madonna. He wore a wedding dress to promote his book, and he was a part time-wrestler who got in the ring with Macho Man Randy Savage. There is nothing normal about this guy.

Despite what you may think of Rodman, he was a great player. He was a 5 time champion and is arguably the best rebounder ever. His achievements were recently recognized when he was enshrined in the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame, receiving validation for a very decorated career. 

Kier Eye For The Straight Guy

WHO CLOSES THE DOOR FOR THE BUS DRIVER WHEN HE GETS OFF?!?!?!?!



THE MOON LANDING WASN'T REAL!!!!!


Special K

A wager I hope I won't regret...

I can't believe I'm saying it. I hope the Red Sox win.

Not within these next three games against my Yanks; I would love to see them start 0-9. But because of my tendency to exaggerate most comments that come out of my mouth, and out of the mild distress the Major and the Lurker (pretend you know who he is) showed for their struggling Sox, I wagered my left nut to my friends last night that the Sox would win a game this year as an attempt to make the situation better.

Don't think it worked. I just look retarded. I hope I don't end up like our friend Lance Armstrong.


UPDATE- Lefty's hangin' in there!

"It's funny 'cause balls hang!!!!!" -Special K

Can John Lackey Save the Sox Today?

Of course he can...just ask him.

We Like Funny People...And So Should You

So last Thursday night, Brightside, CaptainCasper, and I went to this TBS National College Comedy Competition between Tufts and MIT.  Our friend's brother is on the Tufts team, so we were there in full support of the Jumbos.  And let me tell ya....they were really funny.  The MIT kids...not so much.  But a few of the Tufts kids absolutely killed it on stage.

There's voting open online for people to vote tomorrow and Saturday...and we all want YOU TO VOTE TOO!  The videos of a few of our favorite performers from the night are below.

The link to the site to vote: http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/college/standup/schools/Tufts

Kier Eye For the Straight Guy

GREENLAND!!!!

ICELAND!!!!!!


WHERE'S MY TOTEM!!?!??!?!!!


- Special K

In case you missed it...

Italian futbol club Inter Milan let me give the players some pointers for yesterday's UEFA Champion's league match up against German club Shalke 04. I specifcally told midfielder Dejan Stankovic to employ my patented "accidentally hit the 'shoot' button and pray it goes in" method from FIFA 11 and what do you know? Inter is up 1-0 in the first minute. Inter did end up getting smacked 5-2, but that's besides the point.

-Mr. Brightside

Fan Reactions

Which fan reaction is better? Jonah Hill going absolutely bonkers after D-Will knocks down a huge three to seal the W and move the Nets into sole possession of 12th place in the East, or this Raptors fan who is just terrified that Rudy Gay is dribbling the ball.

Voice Madness - Who's Got the Best Vocal Chords Out There?

March Madness is over.  UCONN pulled off the big win over the disappointing Bulldogs in the final game last night.  Kemba became the unofficial player of the year (Sorry Jimbo).  Everyone except our boy Jean down the hall (his bracket's 900th in the country) had their bracket destroyed by the likes of VCU and Butler.  But now that's all said and done, and it's time to focus on a much more important tourney.  


We've been working on this one for a while now guys, so enjoy it.  You've heard them all before, and we've narrowed it down to sixteen.  But now it's time to decide Who Has the Best Voice?


Below are the candidates with a picture of the person linked to the name and a video displaying his voice linked in the sentences after.


James Earl Jones: Now known for his silky smooth voice in Verizon commercials, Big J is most well known for his voice as Darth Vader… and for being Mr. Mertle (the blind old man who owns the beast) in The Sandlot. Check him out singing a Justin Bieber song.

Gilbert Gottfried: His unmistakable voice as the parrot in Aladdin and his shenanigans on Hollywood Squares, among other roles, make him worthy of a 4 seed in the bracket.

Christopher Walken: Whether he’s begging for more cowbell, playing ping pong in Balls of Fury, or belting out songs in Hairspray (no homo), he’s kinda the man.

Bob Dylan: His raspy ramblings on all his old jams and even the cover of Rebecca Black’s Friday show how unique and discernable his voice is among all others.

Morgan Freeman: What guy has never wanted Morgan Freeman to narrate his life? The answer: no one. His voice can make me mildly give a shit about even the most boring topics out there like those stupid Visa commercials and March of the Penguins.

Dick Vitale: He’s AWESOME BAYBEEE!!! Who doesn’t love turning on an NCAA game and hearing this guy go nuts… plus he’s from Jersey.

Sean Connery: He’s got a voice good enough to 1) be James Bond for a few films. 2) get impersonated on SNL’s Celebrity Jeopardy a million times. 3) Deliver this beautiful line in another shitty Nicholas Cage Movie.


Gus Johnson: This guy defines March Madness.  This guy defines excitement.  He's kind of like Special K cause he gets amped up over everything.


Joe Buck: What can one say about good ol’ Joe Buck.  I feel like he’s been around for centuries just doing his thang every week for Fox Sports.  My personal favorite quote: “HOME RUN SLAMA-LAMA DING DONG!”

Don LaFontaine: In a world…where The Voice doesn’t exist…is a sad, sad world.  Movie trailers would sound just god awful and boring.

Jack Nicholson: You want to hear Jack’s voice?! You can’t handle Jack’s voice!  One of the most impersonated voices of all time had to make a showing in the bracket.  He’s had too successful a career to not be included.  So Here’s Jackkkkk!


Kiefer Sutherland: Most of you know Kiefer as Jack Bauer from 24, where’s he’s constantly shouting at people about bombs and his wife and his children…It’s gets rather repetitive.  Regardless, Kiefer made a name of his voice, and he was chosen by the Call of Duty franchise to do a voice over for the game: Now that’s badass. 

Ted Williams: We’re not talking about Red Sox Legend #9 here, we’re talking about the homeless guy from Cleveland who came out of freaking nowhere to become famous for his robust voice. 

Dennis Haybert:  Who?? I know, that’s what I said at first.  But then HoundDog and Brightside told me that he’s the Allstate Commercial guy and the President from 24.  Yeah, I went from hating hard on this guy to hoping he can pull off a final four run. 

Dikembe Mutumbo: Come again, big guy? This freakish NBA center has one of the oddest and most indiscernible voices of all time.  Words can’t describe it. Just make sure to watch the video.  

Random 90s Athlete of the Day: Joe McEwing

Super Joe broke into the league in '99 with the Cardinals and had a remarkable rookie season. The guy was as scrappy as they come, playing every position but pitcher and catcher in his rookie campaign. He slugged .275 with 9 home-runs and 141 hits, a third of his career total. Joe also had a 25 game hit streak and finished 5th in NL Rookie of the Year Voting. He was traded to the Mets the next year where he played for 5 seasons and even made a World Series appearance in 2000 before calling it a career.

Joe is known for the way he just abused future hall of famer Randy Johnson throughout his career. The legend started in 2000, when Joe went 4-6 against the Big Unit with 3 doubles, a homerun, and 4 RBI's.

I'm talking about him today because he might have one of the sickest highlight reels of all time. Check it out.

The combination of the Foo Fighters grunge guitar and the action pics of Joe are just majestic.


If after reading this post Joe McEwing became your favorite player, you should sign this petition, and send Joe to Cooperstown where he belongs.


HoundDog

Kier Eye For The Straight Guy

We're introducing a new segment tonight for the blog.  We have a new contributor for you guys, a newcomer to the blogging world, but hell, there's no doubt he's gonna be a star pretty soon.

This guy just notices the most random junk that no one ever thinks about.  And he's always so amped up about it!

So without further ado...here's Special K's first observation:

Wait, so you bake COOKies, but you cook BACon?!?!


WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!!!!


- Special K

A Fight We'd Wanna See - Charlie Sheen vs. A Zombie Apocalypse

          VS.








Why We Wanna See It:  Who on Earth wouldn't want to see this?  It's like an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object.  You know Charlie's ready to go.  I think he'd be just like Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, just absolutely tearing shit up all over the planet.  Just winning all over the place.

Who'd Win: The zombies, hands down.  Charlie'd last awhile, with all that tiger blood running through his veins, but in the end, the only thing that is more screwed up in the head than Sheen is a zombie.  When Sheen's done with all the alcohol and drugs, he'll cave.




-Major

Classic Movie Moment - How Bout Them Apples?

In honor of Red Sox Opening Day, I want to share with everyone one of my favorites Boston-movie scenes of all time.  This scene from Good Will Hunting just oozes Beantown.  You have Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, two Boston natives, talking smack at a bar with a bunch of stuck-up Hahvad kids. Matt Damon just rips the kid apaht, then gets the girls numbah.

And then comes one of the best lines in all of movie-making history:

Matt Damon: Do you like apples?
Hahvad Asshole: Yeah
Matt Damon: Well...I got her number.  How do you like them apples?

BOOM!

One of the best insults ever filmed in my opinion.  More people need to use it in real life.  I think I'm going to make that my goal for the weekend.  Find an appropriate situation to whip out the "how bout dem apples" expression and just bask in that moment of glory when it happens.



-Major